I've been thinking a great deal about motherhood, maternity, and childrearing. I've been mulling and rolling around the idea of what it means to be a mother.
As I
twirl around these ideas, I've been cleaning the home, cooking meals, organizing
laundry, and thinking pragmatically about what it means to satisfy a man.
Gwendolyn Brooks says there's no time to do both: keep up a dream and satisfy
the calls of womanhood. I find this unsettling. It must be the reason why we
need strong female role models in our worlds, so we can literally see how this
is done. It may seem I'm over complicating this...or over simplifying it.
I'm
watching Africa Wild on the 3D network. There's a lot to be learned from the
natural world. Wolves give birth secretly in underground dens. I'm guessing
they do so because of the vulnerable nature giving birth inherently entails.
Wolves are also extremely protective. A mother wolf will refuse anyone or
anything proximity to her newly born cubs, yet ironically, she is also known to
be cannibalistic with her newborns. This reminds me of Sethe, who is so
fiercely protective that she kills her own baby, Beloved *say with slow creepy
voice. There's something to be said of this particular maternal bond.
I used to
tell myself that I wouldn't have children until I met my biological mother. The
older I get, the more I procrastinate. There are too many unknowns. Or, maybe
the unknown is too major.
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